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Holy shit this is good. I’d have to describe it as acoustic indie rock with some sort of spoken word delivery. I’ve never heard anything like it. The witty songwriting, the charmingness of it all. I’m rocking out so hard right now. Some of the lyrics are so hilarious the way he says them, simultaneously so full of raw human emotion.
The way he says lines like “…which puts them in mad shady situations with mad shady people if not everyday, then on an every other day basis” or “It just sucks it played out like this, a terrible movie and you can tell none of the actors even give a fuck.” Wow. Songs like “flashlight” and “legit tattoo gun,” deserve to be blasted on stereo. Typed up the lyrics don’t seem that impressive but the way he says them make them sound so witty.

It’s got a certain hipster appeal. Just check it out. Ok I lied when I said I’ve never heard anything like it. I have heard one band that sounds like this; modern baseball. But modern baseball is much more straightforward indie rock.

28 things that it sucks to drop

Part of a new series entitled “Lists no one really asked for that are probably too long to not just skim or ignore,” I will be doing one of these every … so often.

List 1: 28 Things that suck to drop.

28: A ball: Are you doing sports? Is your team yelling at you in a way that isn’t giving you endorphins? Congratulations, you just fumbled. They had to come up with a word for this one, because it sucks so much.

27: An orange: Because it’s totally going to roll somewhere inconvenient. Other fruits and vegetables that are round and fairly resilient fit into this category. Grapes especially, because they roll under stoves and fridges.

26: Can of pop: A classic. Unless you drop someone else’s, (Then it is a hilarious prank) you just know it’s going to foam up and make a mess when you open it.

25: Slurpee: The damn cups always find a way to land on the pavement, and the lid always pops off, and there goes 2 bucks.

24: Starbucks drink: It’s probably going to land on your apple computer, or your lap, and they’re either really hot or really cold, and there goes 5 bucks.

23: iphone: The screen either cracks or it doesn’t, it’s like a coin toss. Most other smartphones don’t break when you drop them, because they are lighter and tougher.

22: A bunch of coins: Because it makes enough racket to attract all stranger’s attention, and it makes you look like a dolt picking them up, and if you don’t, then you’re out like, a whole dollar almost.

21: An acoustic guitar: They make an awful racket when you bonk them into anything, and chances are your guitar is your “baby,” and you don’t want to scratch the finish.

20: Clothes while transferring them from the washer to the dryer. I don’t know about you, but this didn’t make me feel like a failure when it happened until I read The Book of Awesome’s excerpt on how awesome it is to NOT drop a sock or two.
19: The Soap: It’s slippery and hard to pick up, especially if there is soap in your eyes already.
18: A water balloon, near the faucet: After ruining the lip of a few of them, this one just slips out of your hands and either breaks instantly or starts squirting everywhere. It’s a major bummer.
17: Ice cream: Instantly soiled on the ground. There’s a reason it makes kids cry.
16: Schoolbooks/papers: It makes you look like a nerd picking them up. Especially annoying if it’s in the mud, or it’s windy.
15: The spatula: Always finds a way to fall onto the kitchen floor, making a mild mess and having to be rinsed off afterward.
14: An egg: I never realized until I dropped one that I don’t know how to clean up egg. It’s slippery and only sticks to other egg, and the dishcloth just slides it around.
13: A jar of ___: Almost anything that is kept in a jar makes a mess. Pickles, salsa, relish, jam. The glass makes it worse. Peanut butter jars don’t count.
12: Toast. Unlike cats, toast always lands face first.
11: A potted plant: Dirt. But hopefully not a dead plant. …And the pot usually breaks.
10: A pot of boiling water: The kitchen is a dangerous place. 
9: A pan of splattering grease: Everything a pot of boiling water is and more. It sticks to you, it’s harder to clean, and this was actually a plot point in House of Leaves.
8: A bottle of wine: Don’t cry over spilled milk because it could have been wine. From more expensive to milk to more expensive than a used car, it always comes in glass, and it stains everything.
7: A fish tank: As if saving the fish during this catastrophe was hard enough. When a 100 pound block of glass and gravel  smashes into the floor with several cubic feet of water, nothing ends well. *Draining it all the way disrupts the microfauna crucial to proper water chemistry.*
6: A knife: Even though it usually doesn’t land on your foot, the mini heart attacks this causes will surely kill you eventually.
5: That heavy thing: That damn heavy thing knows how to find something fragile and expensive, (or a shin, or a foot) and hit it on the way down.
4: A plasma screen TV: Heavy, expensive, fragile. What could possibly go wrong?
3: A banana, or apple: The damn thing is gonna be all bruised, and bruises are icky. Tomatoes sort of fit under this category if they don’t just explode on the ground.
2: Anything that was someone else’s: Goddamn! They’ll never trust you again. You are the worst friend.
1: A baby:You just know that everyone will hate and mistrust you forever, and you’ll probably feel awful about it until you die, and long after that. I’m just talking about the baby falling 8 inches backwards and bonking it’s head on maybe a coffee table or something, it’s still awful. I just know. I don’t have to experience it to know.
Is it worse to drop your own baby or someone else’s? I don’t know. Both seem awful.
NEXT WEEK: Things that are awesome to drop

The Brand New Challenge. The purpose of this video is to encourage others to try this challenge;

Play an album on your instrument of choice from start to finish with no retakes, no words infront of you and no regrets. Rehearsing beforehand and looking at the track list is discouraged.

It’s called the brand new challenge because I made it up today. Today I have prepared for you Brand New’s 2006 LP- The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me from start to finish from memory. For lent I will be doing one Brand New challenge every single year!

Track List;

0:00- sowing season
3:30- millstone
7:14-Jesus Christ
12:01- “Degausser”
15:52- Luca
19:55- “Limousine”
21:51- Not the Sun
24:22- “Welcome to Bangkok”
25:50- The Archer’s Bows have broken
28:44- “You Won’t Know” (how to play this song)
31:15- “Handcuffs”

Mid Degausser is when it dawned on me that this might be challenging. Memory fails me, voice fails me, fingers fail me. But I pressed on.  Comment. DO the CHALLENGE. BE SHAMELESS.

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